Someone Else's Problem

Someone Else's Problem

Living in the suburbs of Nashville,  my family resides in a nice neighborhood where the streets are filled with kids riding bikes, skateboarding, swimming at each other's pools, etc.   Parents stand outside talking with one another and, in general, a nice community feel prevails.  One little eight-year-old boy, however, lives in a home nearby where he is neglected.  Yes, his basic needs are being met-- food, shelter, clothing--, but he is starved for attention and for boundaries for his behavior.  His mother lets him stay out all day and late in the night, never checking on where he is or who he is with.  During the school year, he has been kicked off of the bus because of his foul language.   Without the gentle guidance of an active parent, he is slowly becoming the "problem kid," the one whom mothers are cautious to have their kids around.   Recently, when he became angry at a group of teasing boys, he ran home, grabbed a 6-inch Army knife and returned to "take care of things."   Luckily, one of the dads saw the exchange and took the boy home and talked with the adult at the home (the mom's boyfriend).    The adult blew off the incident, not wanting to deal with the child or with the responsibility;  he was dating the mom and the boy was unfortunately just a part of the deal.      This eight-year-old child is being neglected by his mom, but what is my responsibility?  What is my neighborhood's responsibility?  What is the school's responsibility?     It is so easy to chastise his mother,  shake our heads and mutter "bless his heart," and get on with living our lives and parenting our own children.  

This little boy, prone to temper tantrums and impulsive behavior, could potentially grow up into a teenager and an adult with those same anger tendencies.   Rather than seeing a future article in the newspaper because of his accomplishments in sports or academics,  he could easily make the news because of a violent attack at his high school or an attack in his community.

The headlines this week have detailed a merciless 24-year-old gunman killing innocent victims in a movie theater in Colorado.   This July also marks the one-year anniversary of the Oslo, Norway attack in which a far-right fanatic killed 69 people at a youth camp.    A killer isn't made overnight;  I wonder how many times along the way in their life did people notice that their behavior wasn't quite right.   How many times was the assumption made that they were someone else's problem?